My Mom, My Friend, Audioslave and a Cartoon Turtle Can't All Be Wrong

Two years ago today, I arrived in Paris with my family. I still remember it so well because it was a cold, wet and dreary day. Through the jet lag after being on 9-hour flight, all I could think about was whether or not I would like this place or the people. Would the people like me? Since I was leaving all of my friends behind, I had to make some new ones. I hadn’t given much thought to what people thought about me in so long.

It took me back to a conversation that I had with my mother when I was 14. I had just started my freshman year at high school. I guess it’s always tough when you have to leave old friends behind and try to make new ones, so I was having a hard time getting adjusted.

One day when my mother asked me how school was going I said, “I hate that place because I don’t think anyone really likes me.” My mother looked at me and said, “Why do you care what other people think? All you have to do is be yourself and stand up for what you believe in because what other people think about you will never matter as much as what you think of yourself.”

The advice didn’t sink in right away, but it certainly was in place before the end of that school year. And you know what? It turned out to be a pretty good year, too. Her advice stayed with me even through high school, college and throughout my working career.

When arrived in Paris I found myself struggling with that question again some 20 years later. Then I met an American who had been living in Paris for about 10 years.

She was showing me around town, and during one of our conversations about working and doing business with the French she said: “Carolyn, a lot of people are going to tell you that you’ll need to adjust your personality (a.k.a. American tendencies) if you plan to work with French businesses. Don’t listen to them. Be who you are going to be.” I listened to her, too, and so far so good on the business front.

If that wasn’t enough advice, I only have to recall a cartoon I used to watch when I was kid. Now, this cartoon is even a little bit before my time, but I remember it because I had two older brothers. If you’re old enough to remember the cartoon that I’m talking about, you'll get a chuckle. Each episode would end with the turtle saying, “Be always what you is; not what you is not!”

The lesson here is you can only be who you are. And hey, isn't that the same lesson that Audioslave's Chris Cornell belts out also when he sings "Be yourself is all that you can do?" Therefore you might as well get comfortable with yourself and try to be the best person you can be. So I guess my mother, a good American friend living in Paris, a very cool band, and a cartoon turtle can't all be wrong.